A dark horse presidential candidate has come out of nowhere: Larry the Cucumber. He shot to fame almost immediately after his promise of giving everyone a water buffalo.
Sadly, his campaign manager, Archibald Asparagus, quickly tried to walk back Cucumber’s promise.
“He can’t say everyone will get a water buffalo; everyone will not get a water buffalo,” he said. “We’re going to get nasty letters saying, ‘Where’s my water buffalo? The government promised me a water buffalo.’ And we’re just not prepared to deal with that. We don’t have the infrastructure to send everyone a water buffalo. We don’t have the funding in place.”
Asparagus was exasperated as Larry then gave another speech promising everyone a baby kangaroo.
via Babylon Bee